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  • Writer's pictureRodney Baker

Why you should always make up in front of your kids.

Updated: Jan 24, 2020

Despite our best efforts to avoid it, our kids overhear our fights. Though they seldom overhear

our make ups. While arguments often occur in the kitchen, the car or the living room; making up

often happens behind closed doors.

A recent study* showed a significant increase in cortisol (stress hormone) levels in children for hours after they witness discord in the home. Other studies have found trace amounts of stress hormones in children up to a week after they witness the discord. While we may have made up in private, or let the infraction go, the children who witnessed the argument may not know that it is over.

So next time you fight in front of your kids, make up in front of them. Let it be a lesson on conflict and resolution that will not only affect them now, but that they can take with them in their lives.

*Family conflict and lower morning cortisol in adolescents and adults: modulation of puberty Zhang et al. 2016


Rodney is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional with 10+ years experience working with couples of all shapes and sizes. Contact Rodney at 603-892-9777 or at to learn more and schedule your free 15min consultation.

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